Yeah, I was thinking about why some people insist on yaoi being gay porn for women. Of course I have disputed that yaoi isn’t gay porn for women, despite the fact that it can be sexually explicit at times. If any yaoi fans out there would like to discuss this. I’ll be happy to hear some views. 
November 1, 2008 at 21:23
I kind of like yaoi. I even like a lot of the explicit sex in it and other genres – it adds spice and exhilaration to the reading experience. But porn it isn’t. Porn essentially has no plot and has one purpose only – to titillate. I think that’s the definition people just have to go by, because it’s so easy to exploit the term for repressive purposes.
November 1, 2008 at 22:04
Hi thanks for stopping by.
Yeah I hate when people refer to yaoi as being gay porn for women. Just like people have exploited the term yaoi, in the West it has come to be an umbrella term for anything that would have homosexuality in it.
November 9, 2008 at 19:11
IMHO Boys Love can be everything, from shy kisses to downright pornographic stuff, that’s what makes it so great.
I wouldn’t call it gay porn for women, but rather erotic fantasies targeted at women.
Something that barely exists outside of Japan. (except for the bodice ripper stuff etc).
I hate how a lot of men just think that women don’t have a sexuality. When I tell them that BL is for women and not for gay men most of them are disgusted as if we don’t have the right to like it, because we’re women. ARGHH!
November 9, 2008 at 21:44
Well I like the term yaoi and always say that it is erotic material of a m/m relationship written by women for women (although I know there are exceptions). It is not gay porn for women as gay porn is written about gay male relationships – not the fantasy relationships that yaoi is made up of. Just because yaoi includes two men in a love or sexual relationship, that sexual theme isn’t what makes it yaoi!
In yaoi the uke is usually portrayed in an empathic manner that women can identify with in the relationship – not that all uke are feminine, but they are usually very much in touch with how women feel or imagine they would feel when dealing with, usually, a very appealling male seme. Male relationships in yaoi are usually acceptable and do not suffer from many of the practical problems that gay relationships do in reality. I suppose what I am trying to say is that it is fantasy written from a female point of view – a female point of view that wants to see beautiful men loving each other and having sex, problems, love triangles – you name it and it can happen in yaoi.
Of course many men would find it vulgar and unappealing – although two women in a relationship would just be wonderful in their opinion. If men love the idea of two women together – in whatever scenario they like to imagine – then women have the right to enjoy two men together – it’s just fantasy – our fantasy – and they shouldn’t try to associated it with gay porn just because they find it offensive or unappealling.
Well I’m rambling so I’ll shut up……:)
January 13, 2009 at 00:18
I would call it porn — emotional porn! That’s different from “gay porn for women” which is insulting and ignores all the differences of the genre. Nevertheless yaoi can be very over-the-top at times, which is why I like it. SF writer Pat Cadigan once described ‘porn’ as anything having that extreme, arousing (not necessarily sexual) quality — for example a very fancy, overdone wedding cake seen on the Food Network or such could be qualified as food porn. I thought she was full of it at the time I read that quote, but now I tend to believe it.
September 26, 2009 at 14:57
This is almost a year later and coming from someone rather new to the whole yaoi thing. I’ve seen both ends of this topic. It’s a love story between guys. It’s a fuck feast between two or more guys who can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s something that someone got into their heads about two guys who seem to get along really well or fight each other way too often and they had to write down their view in a yaoi fanfic.
Yaoi seems to be a way for a girl to say something using two ‘fake’ guys.
Personally I see yaoi as touching love stories that doesn’t need lemons (sex scenes), while to some point trying to prove or justify that loving the other person isn’t wrong and shouldn’t be. Either to themselves or to everyone else.
Now I’m going to add a point that hasn’t been posted here yet.
Some of us, and I’ve talked to a few, have used yaoi like porn. We are straight, but it’s kinda like the guy liking the two girls thing. I don’t get it, but I get the two guys thing. Maybe it’s all the ‘poles’.
More or less yaoi is what you want it to be. You can’t cross out a name because you don’t like that part of it. Consider it music with all this subcategories.
October 12, 2009 at 01:04
Tiggerpuss made the most point.
I’m a girl and I love Yaoi because I’m attracted to the idea of how something “wrong” (two males together), can feel so good. It’s the dirty-little-secret aspect that I love so much. Oh, and two gorgeous man all over each other, lol. The part with eroticism is essential. If there’s just kissing, and no love scenes, I avoid that Yaoi. I like my package whole, thank you very much